“If you are an introvert, you are born with a temperament that craves to be alone, delights in meaningful connections, thinks before speaking and observes before approaching. If you are an introvert, you thrive in the inner sanctuary of the mind, heart and spirit, but shrink in the external world of noise, drama and chaos. As an introvert, you are sensitive, perceptive, gentle and reflective. You prefer to operate behind the scenes, preserve your precious energy and influence the world in a quiet, but powerful way.”― Aletheia Luna, Quiet Strength: Embracing, Empowering and Honoring Yourself as an Introvert.
Much has been debated on how introverts function and mostly the study has been anti-introverts because they are perceived as eerie. Their difference is not seen as positively as other behavioral differences. Introverts are usually categorized as boring, anti-social or too shy…
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Here are 11 things you must know about introverts before ‘studying’ them like they are subjects:
1. They need alone time to recharge: Just like a person who paints requires a muse to keep himself/herself inspired, introverts are basically people who need time off to recharge and rejuvenate in order to interact better later on and to be stress free. To be ever inspired they need many small breaks from social setting and it is natural to them. If they are occupied with too much socializing, it tires them and makes them lose important functional faculties.
2. They don’t hate being around people, but they probably hate crowds: Two or three people are okay, but if you leave them with a large crowd, introverts tend to feel alienated and suffocated all at once. They feel invisible and yet do not require attention. They have this need to be around least number of people and have only meaningful conversation and not small talk or gibberish banter.
3. For introverts, silence is golden. Silence is not silent treatment. If you are with an introvert, you have to know their immense love for silence and this works especially during road trips. This silence is often misunderstood to be rudeness on their parts and may develop a feeling of coldness amongst extroverts and even ambiverts. Perhaps, that’s why introverts want to go to the movies because there is a norm to be quiet. Calling them ‘too quiet’ is rude by the way!
4. Being shy and being an introvert are two very different things. Google it!
5. They can turn on their extrovert side at times, but that is very draining for them: To dazzle a crowd, or to simply give a talk to a group of people, introverts can switch personalities and make a great impression as that of an extrovert, but this illusion is draining them and they need a huge chunk of time to recharge post that. See points one and two for reference.
6. No, they aren’t judging you: Introverts have a habit of zoning out and staring into nothing. This habit usually is couple with a resting ‘bitch’ face which further angers or confuses the other person. They are just staring into empty space and reflecting on themselves, not you. So, let them be and chill.
7. The best things to happen to them are cancelled plans: I personally love getting to know that I don’t need to be up and about and go out. As soon as an introvert gets cancelled on, it is the best feeling of all times. They can easily reflect and have silence to themselves.
8. Their inner voice never shuts up and the inner monologue is on point! Usually when someone has a voice going on and on in their heads at all times, it is both tiring as well as requires a lot of silence from external stimuli. Usually introverts go into shells and think a lot before proceeding with the actual plan. Once they settle their grey matter on something, no one can stop them!
9. They are bad at connecting or reaching out: introverts think deeply and they can be excellent care takers, but reaching out by taking initiative or connecting with people for their own emotional needs is very tough for them.
10. They cannot ‘hang around’ post events, they just can’t. If they have accommodated a bit and joined you for some event, it ends right there. They hate staying back and having a chit chat with strangers. For them small talk is the most irritating thing and a kryptonite.
11. If given proper time to compose their thoughts, introverts have strong opinions. Since introverts are amazing listeners, they accumulate information and gain knowledge from their surroundings. They form opinions not merely by hearsay but through constant reflection on several opinions and their own.
“In an extroverted society, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is often unconsciously deemed guilty until proven innocent.”― Criss Jami, Venus in Arms.
Try to get out of this debate and ponder as to how you can be more accommodating to this 25 % of the population. It is easier to sit back and call people names or judge them. The tougher task is to accept them and all the baggage they carry with themselves. Love and let love and acceptance blossom between humans.
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