12 Signs why Old Souls Struggle to find Love in a New World

“Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other.” Rainer Maria Rilke

Is this your ideal definition of love? Then behold! You are an old soul. A soul that is distinct and searches for deeper value of life and love alike. Your peers often jump into relationships for their loneliness, insecurities, and to “fit in”, but it doesn’t appeal to you. You do not understand the “need” to fill in the vacuum within or to feel “whole” in the presence of another person.

You crave for a passion like the fire, depth like the ocean and freedom like the sky. You want honesty and endless efforts. You do not look for a partner who’ll just be with you, you long for a soulmate: someone with whom a single glance will speak a thousand words. You want someone to understand you and grow with you. You want true love that transcends petty things like appearance, ego or pretense. That is exactly why you feel lost in the “hookup” culture and struggle to find love.

Here are the 12 reasons that rule this behavior:

1. We want love that is authentic or real or nothing

We all are conscious of our flaws and nobody is perfect. Here is the thing: we want to be accepted as who we are without our guards, our vulnerable self. We hate facades and want a relationship where no one feels the need to hide anything or lie. As Faulkner said, “You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.”

2. We want love that teaches us or lessons to learn

Everyone has a tendency to romanticize pain as a “lesson learnt in time”, but what if you learned without getting hurt? How would it be if the person you love instead of criticizing or rejecting you, pointed out your follies and helped to rectify them? This growing together without growing apart lays the foundation of a constructive relationship where both learn happily.

3. We’re healers but we don’t want to “fix” anyone

Trust me when I say this but “fix you” is overrated. I’m sure just like me some of you may feel that you are a magnet for broken people. It may be because of your healing nature and the tendency to put others first. But being the parent or doctor to your partner may be overwhelming and you need someone who is on the same page as you. Even though you are ready to help, you want someone wise enough to fix themselves.

4. We have complex personalities

Alright, we are procrastinators. We will notice every minute detail and see through your mask. It is difficult to find someone who will equally value honesty and intensity in the age where people judge on the basis of tinder bios or Instagram pictures. A lot of people find our nature intimidating, but sorry… we hate superficiality.

5. We want love that is beyond “liking” or like or love?

Do not mess up the two. Liking is fleeting like the morning mist, but love? It is like the stars in broad daylight, you can’t always see but it is ever present. Love delves deep but liking is mostly superficial and we always prefer the former.

6. We want love that is vulnerable

True love does not look for compatibility, the body and soul must be laid bare. Fear getting hurt? But remember, vulnerability is the key to courage. Once you open your wounds, it begins to heal.

Must-Read After: If you recognize any of these 6 signs you have a spiritual gift (pay attention to #3)

7. We want commitment and effort

Relationships aren’t easy. Love is like a tree that needs to be nurtured everyday with efforts. Dedication and commitment are the pillars for a healthy relationship.

8. We want love rooted in wholeness

Never give the key to your happiness to anyone, be sure they will drop it. Find happiness within and you’ll be free. The moment you depend on others to make you happy, you’ll love for all the wrong reasons. Old souls are wise enough to know that and look for self sufficient individuals. They do not encourage parasitic behavior.

9. We won’t settle for anything less than soulmate love

We believe in forevers and want to live a life of love with our soulmate. Mere company and comfort aren’t enough, we want more. It is definitely rare but not impossible.

10. We don’t enjoy the “dating game”

We detest drama. The worst kind of drugs are people, and dating stimulates the desire to just be with someone. We old souls believe the concept is egocentric and is bound to be doomed. Another big struggle we have to face!

11. We want more than just sex

Obsession with sex is extremely shallow and borders on lust. True love gets entangled with the soul before the body. Sex is great, but one night stands without semblance of emotions is not our thing.

12. We’re free spirits

We are birds that can’t be caged. We believe in love that trusts and expands horizons. We don’t want to lose our individuality in the maze of destructive emotions.

These are the main reasons for the struggle of old souls to find true love. However, I strongly believe that great things come to those who wait. So keep believing!

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Original image by Maja Topčagić/500px