No matter how peace loving we might be, we cannot escape having arguments with people in our life. There will be times when everything resolves on its own and we do not need to get into a heated discussion about something. But sometimes arguments can tend to go in a nasty direction where people say or do ugly things. This can adversely affect our relation with others.
In order to avoid all the disagreeableness that emerges out of an argument, we should try to be calm and understanding when we are angry. Easier said than done, we know. There are certain hormones which induce the fight or flight response in us while we are angry. But there are methods to remain calm and level-headed during trying times.
Some of them are:
1. Pause and breathe
Whenever you are arguing with someone, take a moment and breathe with conscious effort. By doing this, you make the parasympathetic nervous system to work, which makes you think calmly. You also won’t react instantly, which can prevent anything major from happening. Just take a pause and stop arguing so that it gives you a moment of clarity.
2. Listen to what they have to say
Do not jump to conclusions from what someone has said. Try to understand what they are trying to say. If not, then ask them to explain what you don’t understand. Miscommunication is also the reason why so many arguments remain unresolved. Work towards understanding each other’s point of view and give each other equal opportunity to keep their point.
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3. Be honest
Lying is certainly not the best thing while arguing with someone. If you want to actually solve issues, then do not lie because then the whole focus shifts on the fact that you lied about something. Be truthful and honest. Talk about what is bothering you and open up!
4. Keep a check on you voice level
It is only natural that we feel like raising our voice during an argument. If you scream and shout, then naturally the other person will feel defensive and threatened. The point is not to make others feel hostile; it is to understand the point of disagreement between people. Maintain a civil form of conversation because that is the least you can do. Raise your arguments, not your voice!
5. Keep an open mind
Do not lose yourself in the fight to the point that you forget the main point you are arguing about. Try to stay in the lane and do not bring past mistakes into the argument. Try to keep some perspective so that small issues can be resolved easily.
6. Avoid physical violence
Violence of any kind should be avoided. Physical or emotional abuse should not be tolerated by anyone. If you are the perpetrator of such abuse, then you should get some professional help from doctors. Playing the victim is also equally harmful.
7. Hold your ground
Do not let the other person manipulate you into believing something. Hold your ground and be assertive. If you let them, they will walk all over you.
8. Agree to disagree
If you can’t seem to reach a conclusion, then let it be. Rome was not built in a day and you absolutely don’t need to solve that problem right away. Approach it with a fresh perspective and clear mind. If you need professional help like counseling, then go for it. Just don’t bury it because that will trouble you in the future. Solve it no matter what.
We cannot escape or avoid arguments but we can certainly learn to deal with them in a better manner.
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