The minute we wake up in the morning is the minute we face another day filled with problems that need to be solved, whether we like it or not.
It’s a fact that if we have focused mindset and rightful habits we will get over the problems easier.
While setting focused mindset and rightful habits is literally a big deal, there are small cracks that we need to fill. Those cracks are the “wrongs” we recognize but fail to resolve. It may look like a small thing, but believe me, overhauling small cracks will make you big person.
Tip-toeing through the day you can recognized that those cracks are tremendous mistakes you do every day. It’s not slaying a dragon, but habitual errors we cherish that don’t belong in our daily routine.
1. Stop Complaining
Mostly prevailing in older generations, complaining has spread through the youth.
We know, life is stressful, and we also know that s*it happens. I have days where I think everyone wants to incline stress over me. And sometimes I think those days last for a year! But what’s the outcome if I tell people this and not solve those situations?
Not only there is no outcome of it, but deep down, no one can really solve your own problems, so why tell them? It’s not that you have wrong people around you, but you are made yo solve your own problems.
The cure is pretty easy, stop complaining. Solution to a problem is found with action over the problem. Unless you think you have health problems, there is always a hospital near.
Complain killers: Positivity, Adaption, Mindfulness and Responsibility
See yourself from third point of view, or as the “friend sitting next to you”. What’s the first thing you would advise yourself to your problems? It’s better when you leave your feelings aside and try to fix your complains with solutions. Being positive will help you as a starting point!
Adoption is where you are being realistic with the situation. If you’re jobless you need to face it. It can only be fixed by finding another job you like. Unless you like to be jobless and a grumbler, you need to make better reality.
Mindfulness and responsibility will get you to do something about it. Your life is your responsibility. Not your parent’s responsibility, not your brother’s responsibility. You are your own master and servant.
2. Stop The Past right away
Second thing I’ve realized is that people live in the past most of their life. According to some studies, we have 60.000 thoughts per day and 95% are the same from the previous day!
The minute we wake up in the morning, we live here-and-now only 5% through the day.
Most of the stress comes from unsolved situations accumulated from the past resolving in anger, sorrow or pain. We blame ourselves that we could’ve reacted better or solved ‘that’ situation differently, not minding that time cannot be reversed, while the clock ticks away the “now”.
We don’t remind ourselves that every unpleasant situation and every wrong reaction is a lesson. People succeed in life because of this fact!
People lack vision for their lives. Ask some person how he/she paints his perfect future and you will see a blank justification or a short dull answer: I want to be rich. As Albert Einstein said:
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
If you realize, you can’t get stuck in the past on a vision. Only people and things will drag you down if you put your vision on them. You got to dream for something bigger!
Past killers: Lessons, Future Plans, Vision
Many people I know are so stuck in the past that life is passing in front of their eyes without realizing it.
One mindset will help us big time on killing the past. That mindset is the “lesson” mindset. For every wrong and right choice we make, the crucial thing to do is memorize the choice as a lesson. Many people made all the wrong choices in the world that lead them straight to personal enlightening. The point is to dare to try, instead of think that “we should’ve” done it.
Future plans are pointing gun to the past. Having a clear and compelled vision for the future is focusing our mind on the road ahead. Without plans the brain activates the “past” and brings memories back. Take a pen, paper and start crating the future you would like to be.
Vision, as the last past killer, is the picture in our head that sticks us to keep moving forward after all the problems we encounter. It’s way bigger than any sinners past.
Visualize what you would like to be in the next 1-5 years if everything goes perfect. You will come up with a dream job, apartment suitable for you, perfect relationship, and pure happiness (most probably this would be it.) Now that you have clear picture, do everything you need to fulfill that perfect scenario. The past won’t stand a chance.
3. Stop being Insecure
Ok, it might seem like a huge step, but insecurity is just a click away in your mindset. Insecurity is looking at the bad outcome. It’s a pessimistic overview.
People react wrong every day, or they don’t even start doing things because of this tiny fracture in the mindset which affects their life poorly. One tiny “what if” voice that stops us from doing what we truly like and love.
German psychoanalyst Eric Fromm quoted:
“The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.”
This makes insecurity a daily task. If one feels secure then he/she challenged thousands of insecure things.
In case to remove this tiny fracture we have to focus on stepping out of the comfort zone. It’s not like we are going to be used to feel secure and last forever in that mode, but we have to challenge it on a daily bases. Simply to make “step out of the green area” as a daily routine, whether it’s spilling the first break-up line at the bar to a woman/man, getting new job, or staring a new relationship.
Insecurity killers: Observation, One step forward, Colors
Looking from an insecure point of view, we know that considering about a particular thing for too long will make us even more insecure. But the point is that we don’t need to consider much about things. We need to observe without judgments and trust our intuition, which will be our next topic. We have to visualize the area (and most probably), the person and proceed with the step forward.
All we need to do is observe, look one step forward instead of staying in a quicksand, and proceed with colorful outcome. If we see things black and white we will never see the beauty of the colors that might be drawn.
And off the record, all the beautiful moments and things to laugh about come when we step out of the comfort zone and failed like a total disaster. The consequences turned out to be a lesson or a great memory.
4. Stop gagging your Intuition
Examining through all the exceptional successful stories, I’ve found that many of those people listened to their inner guidance. The tiny little voice says it all before we even know it.
Albert Einstein said that it is our most valuable asset and one of our most unused senses. He described it as “a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance of something.” Sometimes it is referred as a gut feeling, sixth sense, innate wisdom, inner sense, instinct, inner voice, or spiritual guide.
The sad story is that we blindfold that voice and stop hearing it. We engage in so many wrong things the very second we stop listening to ourselves. Our intuition knows whether our next move is going to bring us self-growth or self-destruction, but first we must increase the volume. Once we learn that, our moves will flow like waves. Everything will add up on a daily bases and every day we will be better than yesterday.
Gagging your intuition killers: Self-trust, Meditation, Gut Feeling
As much as we think we make decisions on our own, many factors rely on our choices. Even one opinion of a friend can change our whole constitution in the decision making.
The best way is to experience it on our skin. We have to rely on our self-trust even if we make the wrong choice. Too many choices of our lives were lead from other people. It’s time to take the uniqueness in our hands and trust “the gut feeling.”
Meditation, on the other hand, will turn the volume down in your head. It is perfect combination to calm the mind and tune in the inner guidance. When the brain is too loud, it will activate emotions over the rightful choices, but when the mind is calm, we can rely on the gut feeling to guide us through the rightful decisions. And remember, what you learn from meditation is not what everyone says you will.
5. Stop playing The Victim Card
One of the most common mistakes I used to make is that I thought life was happening to me. I was combining every accident and every bad as my own bad luck. This was the worst falsehood I have personally believed in.
When we have our life in our palms we can never really be a victim of circumstances. Law of attraction works, believe me.
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If you think the weight of the world is on your shoulder, it will always stay like that. Give yourself the pleasure to enjoy the life you have created for you. Take the cards in your hand and play them.
Victim Card killers: Self-confidence, Self-worth
To see the uniqueness, you must put a bit more pressure on it. Playing the victim card will shackle your identity. It’s like you don’t approve yourself that you make difference in this world.
Self-confidence burns the victim cards. Feeling like self-worth person who makes difference with your choices will prove you that you create your own luck. Nothing good happens to you unless you attract it with work and dedication.
Many factors rely on the overall success in life. The wrong choices above will give take the life we always wanted, but their killers will spread everything we’ve ever wanted on our doorstep.