When it comes to the types of people in our lives who are simply not good for us, manipulators rank among the top most toxic of all. They’re the individuals who care only about themselves and who stop at nothing to get exactly what they want.
As such, a manipulator will always selfishly place their own needs, desires, and emotions first when making decisions and they won’t think twice about using people for their own advantage.
They are relentless in their quest for personal power and success which is why they’re so manipulative, deceitful, and bad to be around.
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of having to deal with a manipulative people then you should be well aware of just how exploitative and driven they can be.
By knowing their tactics and how they operate, you can counteract the negative effects of their behavior and protect yourself.
Here are 10 ways in which manipulators use others to their advantage:
1. You’re being emotional
In a healthy relationship one should be able to share his or her true emotions with their partner. But when we are in a toxic relationship, a healthy communication of emotions and thoughts cannot happen. Your manipulative partner will try to coax you into believing that you’re wrong for having those emotions. He/she will blame you for being too sensitive.
2. Negation of feelings
Some people just invalidate your feelings with phrases like “it doesn’t matter” or “it isn’t a big deal”. By doing this they can easily hide their own mistake or guilt because your feelings do not even exist for them.
3. I never said that
Toxic partners will confuse you with their lies. They will refuse to accept what they said at one point of time. They will blame you for hearing it wrong or understanding it in a different way which will make you question yourself.
4. I’m not good enough
They play the victim card to gain sympathy. When they say this, you will lower your defenses and start comforting them instead. This is the way they emotionally blackmail you to get what they want.
5. You don’t trust me
Toxic partners put the entire blame on your ability to trust someone. They try to make you look like the insecure partner in the relationship when actually they are the real culprits. They start this game to make you look like a fool for doubting them.
6. You also dis this
They bring up your past mistakes in order to win an argument or to get their way. They don’t care how big or small it was, they just want to bring it in the argument just so that they have something against you. This act of counter blaming is really a hallmark of toxic people.
7. Anxiety issues
Your small, inconsequential inquiry about something in their life becomes a reason for them to accuse you with having anxiety issues. People who genuinely love their partners do not compare them with their exes. Toxic partners keep on accusing you of being insecure when they are the ones who can’t keep faithful.
8. Begging them to talk
If you constantly have to ask them to tell you about something, or even talk to you, then you are definitely in a toxic relationship. There’s a difference between you hounding them for an answer and someone telling you of their own accord. Check how you’re being treated by your partner. If you have to work really hard to get a word out of them, it’s time to leave.
Sleeping seems like the best thing to do when you want to avoid the reality of life. Toxic partners would rather sleep than discussing things with you. If he/she can sleep peacefully knowing that you’re hurt or angry then they is not worth your time.
Toxic partners keep giving their girlfriends/boyfriends deadly ultimatums. They put conditions for their partners under which they will date them. Sometimes it sounds like, “I will not be in a relationship with someone who does this”. It could be the way you talk, dress, eat or live. They try to change you by dictating what they want from you.