Divorce is hardly ever an amicable affair. It leaves people hurt and angry, and if children are involved, then it’s a really traumatic experience for them. Having seen their parents fight and leave each other, children of divorced parents become aware of the reality of relationships and marriages pretty early.
Unlike other kids, who hold on to an idea of ‘happily ever after’, these children form a completely different perception of love and romance. They look at relationships differently and want different things from their partners.
So, here are 14 ways in which children of divorce love differently:
1. Commitment is key for us
Declaration of love on social media and cutesy spur-of-the-moment vows hold no importance to us. We want our partners to genuinely mean what they say. We have seen enough of fake promises to know when it’s real and when it’s fake. Instead of saying fluffy cute things, show us through your actions.
2. It can also be scary for us
We always tend to hold ourselves back from a long-term relationship. We are always unsure as to whether it will work out or not. It’s a scary thought to us.
3. We take communication very seriously
We know that lack of communication can have devastating consequences. To hold grudges against one another, to put each other down constantly, these things destroy relationships. That is why it is very important for us to communicate with our partners and not hide issues. Honesty is the key here. It helps in the long run.
4. We try to be optimistic
We always try and hope for the best. Despite knowing that things don’t always work out, we hold on to the desire and hope that we will survive and our love will win. We have immense faith in our love.
5. We’re also cynical about it
However, sometimes we also lose all hope and feel that nothing good will ever happen to us. That love and comfort will always evade us, no matter how hard we try.
6. We’re always questioning things
We tend to worry too much about simple things because we fail to trust someone completely. We are afraid that things are not okay or our partner means something bad when they actually don’t.
7. We’re very aware
We are very serious and careful before getting into a relationship. We analyze the other person really closely to avoid getting hurt later. We are not the kind who jumps in head first if we like someone. Life has taught us really early that it’s a mistake to do something like that.
8. We’ll love unconditionally
When we fall in love, we love that special someone with everything we have. We want to make things work and put in effort to do so.
9. We freely give comfort
Since childhood we have always given comfort and love to our distressed parents. It’s something that comes to us naturally. We take care of our partners and hug and kiss them to show our love and support.
10. Abandonment is our worst nightmare
To children, their parents are their pillars of strength. However when they leave, it’s like your safe place is snatched away from you. Abandonment is a terrifying issue for us and that’s why we are bit clingy and need to be shown that people won’t leave us.
11. We prepare ourselves for it
Since we can never be at ease in a relationship, we will always be on guard to minimize damage as much as possible. We keep knitting that safety net, thinking that heartbreak can happen anytime.
12. We pay more attention to flaws
We are cautious about flaws and analyze them whether they will create problems in the future. It’s the first thing we fret about when we meet someone.
13. We’re heavily guarded
Having been exposed to a lot of pain and negativity since childhood, we put up a shield to protect ourselves from it. We don’t let our vulnerability show.
14. We’re hard to love
Yes, we are not exactly easy to deal with it. Relationships won’t be a walk in the park with people like us. We are too afraid to get close to people as we fear we will be hurt or disappointed.
However, when we fall in love, we treat our partners with utmost love and adoration and try our best to make it work.