“Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy (or a girl) maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.”
There are times when you feel intimidated by the endless “couple goals” posts your best friend shares or the PDA at the cafe or even the shopping sites giving sales for “him and her”! It is okay. It is okay to feel hopeless after watching Friends and wanting a romance like Chandler and Monica, it is okay to order the couple steak for yourself or avail the Valentine’s Day offer for you and your bestie… because it is not a compulsion to be in a relationship.
To love someone, you need to love yourself first. So if you are someone who desires freedom and passion, what can be greater than being driven and inspired individuals?
1. You have your family and friends to stand beside you
“I’ll be there for you” is not just a song, it is your anthem. Your friends always have your back no matter how weird you are. They have seen your “I will marry Jack Dawson and no one else” phase and your “I need to manage the mess” moments, yet they never leave. Your family has always supported you. They have accepted your idiosyncrasies and showered unconditional love on you. They also put up with your tantrums and all this makes you wonder if you at all need the complications of a romantic relationship.
2. While there’s no “significant other” in your life right now, you do aspire to do significant things
Some of us do not dream of marriage but of achieving the goals that have been on the bucket list. It could be anything from being a runway model to being the CEO of a MNC. You may wish to travel the world without your significant other because you desire solitude as it brings out the best in you. All this requires dedication and hard work, but at the end of the day the struggle in worth it.
3. How romantic would our lives be if everything we ever imagined for ourselves came true?
Imagine that you finally have your own house, a car, the dream job and a bunch of people who genuinely love you to death. Many people would think it is sad because they have no idea just how addictive independence is. You have achieved every bit of it on your own, could you be more content?
4. Significant others are just plus one on our rides through life
Having a significant other should never mean that your entire world will revolve around them. They should be partners in crime and coping with crisis. You do not need someone to make you “whole”, you are enough and do not let anyone make you feel otherwise. I’m sure love is a beautiful thing but it is not worth sacrificing yourself in a toxic relationship… nothing is more important than your happiness.
5. I wonder if it’s naive to think we will all fall in love with people someday
As wonderful all the novels, songs and movies make love look like, it is rare. Many people end up compromising their ideals to be with someone, maybe you can’t. It would be a great disservice to yourself to take the various aspects of life lightly, only because society believes marriage in the be all and end all. I’m not negating the possibility of falling madly in love, all I’m saying is it shouldn’t be unfair on the amazing persona you’ve taken so long to build. Put yourself over norms.
Some would say I’m romanticizing singlehood but your longest relationship is with yourself, make it beautiful.