Life in not a bed of roses. Everyone has to go through their share of heartbreaks and hurt, which will influence on shaping your personality. If you have been romantically hurt repeatedly, you are bound to guard yourself to avoid similar situations. These changes are so subtle that they go unnoticed and we are not aware of them. Here are certain things you might be doing:
1. They stop taking love seriously
“Your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to— it’s the first one who breaks it.” – Lang Leav
Once you trust every bit of yourself with someone, loving them unconditionally and get betrayed – you learn that love too is a lesson learnt with time. You no longer wish and hope for it, and you stop looking for it. You go by the rule “if it happens – it happens“, but you do nothing on your part to go for it. You hope for someone to make efforts but pull yourself back when they do.
2. They doubt others more
By being hurt before, they develop trust issues. They jump to conclusions more easily and they question the other persons intentions. They only think how every other person can hurt them all over again so they doubt every single one of their actions.
3. They put up walls
In order to protect themselves of being hurt again, they put up walls and don’t let people in. It is very hurt to open up to others since they have before and been emotionally betrayed.
4. They accept sadness as a part of life
“Happiness was but the occasional episode in a general drama of pain.” ― Thomas Hardy
After standing up each time life has knocked you down, you are tired and accept the fact that happiness is an illusion. They have experienced sadness way too many times that they always carry sadness in their soul.
5. They stop sharing
Pain changes people. They become more reserved and barely trust others; therefore, they are not so open with others anymore. They stop sharing and sometimes don’t even bother to speak their part of the simplest of conversations. They learn to live without engaging in such conversing.
6. They trust less
We often hear trust in like a mirror, once broken it cannot be mended. They trust no one but themselves. If they are important to you, you need to be patient and put efforts to gain their trust.
7. They are strong
Because of everything they have been through, they have grown to be much stronger! Every tough situation they have been through has made them a more stronger person that can manage to keep their calm and deal with the next rough situation life throws at them.
8. They think of romance as ‘fake’
According to them, most of the romances are just sweet traps by men who only want that one thing. They see through it and are not interested, so that is why they stay distant. They become a little cynical but are not unreasonable. They believe love is much more than what these type of people present.
9. They focus on themselves
Because of their previous experiences, they learn that one has to have one’s back before anyone’s else. They know what they want and will not let you keep them from getting it. Self-love and self care comes first for them, as it should.
10. They get rid of toxic people
They have been let down repeatedly and know how to read people. If you play games with them, they’ll cut you off, no questions asked. Dealing with people who are no less than parasites will suck every ounce of energy and motivation left in them. They prefer a small healthy circle of friends.
11. They stand on their own
There is a fine line between loneliness and solitude. They are independent and do well being on their own. They may like your company but trust me, they do not need it.
12. They refuse to make excuses
They are not afraid to admit they made a mistake and they don’t make excuses for themselves. Same goes for others too. They will point out if you wronged them and they no longer make excuses for others people behaviors. They have a lot of respect for people who admit their mistakes and learn from them, not the ones that make excuses.
13. They stop taking risks
They have learned their lessons and now they play it safe. They no longer take risks. They decide their destiny without giving chance a chance. They use logical reasoning and calculate their every step, so they no longer take leaps of faith. They simply don’t want to risk it anymore.