We’ve all been there… fighting and shouting with our loved ones, even for trivial things. And I’m sure most of you have asked the same question: what did we do wrong? Why can’t we just sort this thing out and both be happy in a successful relationship?
Luckily, a new study provides highly credible answer, with enormous data collected. It consists samples of adults from all over the world.
The 5 year long research study
Done by the University of South Pacific and examined over a 5 year period, psychologists in 2011 initially asked participants to rate their partners from a scale of 1 to 10 in the following key areas:
Communication. Knowing how to listen, share your thoughts, and avoid being critical.
Conflict resolution. Staying focused on the topic and on the present; being willing to forgive or apologize as necessary.
Knowledge of partner. Knowing how to have fun with your partner, knowing your partner’s preferences, and caring about your partner’s wishes.
Life skills. Being able to manage finances, stay fit and healthy, and keep a job.
Self-management. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, striving to overcome your weaknesses, and identifying and reaching your goals.
Sex and romance. Asking about and caring for your partner’s sexual satisfaction, setting aside time for intimacy, and staying attractive for your partner.
Stress management. Being able to use various methods to cope with stress, such as imagery, relaxation, planning, and organizing.
This data was then collaborated with their relationship satisfaction. This process was done again in 2016 for two reasons:
To make sure the data was consistent and to find out which traits were predictive of a longer lasting relationship (those that were still together).
So, what were the findings?
If you also think the one most important skill were sex and romance, you are far from the truth.
They found the 2 highest predictors of a healthy and long-lasting relationship was Communication and Knowledge of Partner.
Why is communication important?
Being able to communicate effectively can solve your problems easily.
When you’re having any sort of problem, you should be honest with your partner so you can work through it together.
Honesty and building trust are two incredibly important in any relationship. But without communication, neither of these things will happen.
Why is knowledge of partner important?
Knowing your partner is the second most important ingredient in a successful relationship. Why? Because without it, you wouldn’t be able to truly understand each other.
While a thing can have one meaning for you, your partner can have a whole different perspective over it.
If you’re both not your true selves around each other, you won’t be able to function. At least not for a long time.
Authentic connection is the key to a healthy relationship.