In many ways, adults are the products of all the mess they’ve been put through as children. This is true for most people.
There is a reason why a person’s childhood is very precious. It determines the person they’ll grow up to be. You don’t get a second shot at growing up again. There is no antidote to the depths of despair, hatred and absolute loneliness that person who has suffered abuse must have felt.
Having a toxic parent(s) can be very tiresome for children. Parenting is not an easy task but toxicity in the parent-child relationship can prove to be damaging for the growth of children.
Here is a list that reveals the qualities of a toxic parent:
1. Failing to create a secure and supportive environment
Sometimes parents think that showing tough love can make their children understand the reality of the world. It does teach them to be independent but they also grow up to be individuals with commitment issues. Tender love and affection should not be denied.
2. Heavy criticism
There are parents who criticize every single move of their children. If you’ll act in such a negative manner then your child will lack confidence and will never try new things.
3. Attention seekers
Such parents demand too much attention from their children. They refuse their children any kind of personal space or freedom of thought.
4. Distasteful jokes
It is similar to abusive relationships where one person bullies the other in order to look superior to them. Do not pick on your children or make fun of them in front of others. It shakes their confidence and the ability to trust you.
5. Blame game
Toxic parents like to blame their children for everything they suffer or have suffered in the past. It severely breaks a child’s self-esteem which could be harmful for him/her in the future.
6. No freedom of thought or emotion
If you don’t allow your child to express his or her thoughts and emotions freely, you might be pushing them towards mental/physical illnesses. A healthy channel of communication should be established between parent-child.
7. Scaring your children
Disciplining children is a tough task, but you don’t have to frighten them out of their wits. If your child is afraid of you then who will s/he contact when trouble comes knocking on the door? There is a difference between respect and fear, choose wisely.
8. “I, me, myself”
There are parents who think only about themselves. Their opinions, their ideas are the only ones that matter. They would make all the decisions without even considering the opinion of their children.
9. Fulfilling their dreams through their kid
I think everyone has experienced this at some point in their life. Parents tend to make their children do things that they themselves wanted to but couldn’t. Let children make their own decision because otherwise none of you will be happy.
10. Money and gifts
You cannot earn your child’s respect by money and gifts. If you use these to escape your responsibility as a parent, then stop it right now because it is good for no one.
11. Silent treatment
This kind of passive-aggressive behavior only teaches your child unhealthy ways of communicating. Act like an adult because your child needs you to be one.
12. No sense of boundaries
Give your child some space and privacy. Do not poke into anything and everything. If you keep doing this then s/he will become secretive, irritable and they will also lie to you.
13. Children as the only happiness
There are parents who see their children as their only source of happiness. This puts too much pressure on them to perform academically and socially. Do not become a burden on your children. Allow them to work for their own happiness.