The stereotypical introvert is one who sticks to the corner of a house party, lurks in the shadows, obsessing over a pet more than they ever have over human beings. These are out-of-the-world specimens who shun human contact and will only communicate with you through the garb of a social media username.
Pro Tip: The personality will be nothing like them in real life.
The stereotypical introvert also doesn’t exist, and I just made this entire thing!
We aren’t aliens, and are thoroughly easy to understand. It’s just that on most occasions, outside our comfort zones, we find conversation fruitless, and therefore steer clear from it.
I hate company too sometimes. Being on my own feels just right. But I too get lonely. See? I’m just like any other normal human being: complicated.
However, if there is one thing I hate more than the average human, it is ‘small talk’. This queer concept is so completely unnecessary and a complete waste of our time and energy. I mean, no I do not want to know how your high your dog is jumping. And, I am certain you have no interest in how my day is going so far. Honestly, if I hear one more semi-stranger bring up the weather, I will cut them.
The Huffington Post wrote a very insightful article on this pertinent issue among us introverts. They have hit the bull’s eye by terming it as pointless and completely exhausting.
When I am invited to a party, I dread all the 99 other people I won’t know there. I understand politeness, and honestly it is super kind of you to offer me a drink or check up on the lonely kid. But please for the love of God, let the conversation be interesting. Do you really want to know what course I’m studying, or when my college begins? Why? Are you plotting my murder? How is it even remotely necessary for you to learn how I know the host, how we became friends, or if our families are related? Are you planning names for our babies?
I do not mean to be impolite or sound discourteous but who on Earth wants to know where you’re from, at 2 o’ clock in the night, while I’m half drunk? If you want to discuss conspiracy theories about Avril Lavigne or the Feminist power of Satanism, I am all in. But keep me out of discussions about the weather.
Laurie Helgoe, who penned the amazing Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, asserts that ‘small talk’ ruins the ground for enlightening conversations. Finally, somebody said it!
We do not dislike human beings in general. No, we have not descended upon humanity with guns and a permanent scowl. We just really do not like wasting our time or energy. Peace is of a very high value to us, and it isn’t worth losing over feigned politeness.
Think of our socializing skills as a limited resource. The more of it we use, the less we have left. So, if I invest my charge in discussing things that hold no importance to this Universe, then I’m actually missing out on the energy to have conversations that could make me happy.
In order to survive in this world, one has to develop social skills. I agree, it is a life-skill, today. But the debate remains: What do I give more importance to? Conversations that are profound and make me happy? Or the ability to be accepted and liked by the vast majority?
I surely cannot do both.