Sometimes there are things that happen that are beyond your control and there’s rarely anything you can do to change them.
Holding on to existing reality and ruining what can be (a brighter future) is really not the way to go. Life, comparing to software, is all about upgrades: you have to let go of obsolete and harmful things and go for newer, brighter and healthier things.
Firm decisions to change yourself have to be taken for you to actually do it. It takes time and a lot of resolve to start, but once you do, the good things will keep coming in a snowball effect.
Starting today, convince yourself that some things are not worth it.
Here are 5 things you must delete from your life in order to see the bright picture in front of you:
1. What could have been, should have been, might have been if you did it right but didn’t
Time travel is still a theory.
Just accept the fact that in life, things often fall apart; most good things no matter how strong they seem at first, will fall apart eventually. Brooding over possibilities that could have been and should have been is not something very wise to do.
If you can’t change it, why think about it?
Think about it as a part of life, but really convince your mind that it is. Regret will eat you up alive, and it could only be present if YOU are actually not present. Stay in the NOW, because now is the only place things are happening.
2. Making excuses instead of decisions
At certain points in life, you just cannot stall things; decisions that seem tough, painful and even unjust have to be taken for the sake of your own well-being.
Survival instincts will often dictate you to stall things and live in the sun for a while longer. But biting the bullet and taking important decisions at crucial times will make life a bit brighter in general, even though you won’t see it then and there.
The worst thing you can do is to refuse to accept your mistakes. One of the many ways to undo that is by being decisive.
If you could just stop and perceive your thoughts, you give yourself excuses all the TIME! There is not one thing right now that you can’t do, and if you look at it firmly that way, you only lack decisiveness and dedication.
Don’t let your mind play games with you. The only thing he want’s is to be safe, and feeling uncomfortable is the key to success in every sphere in life.
3. Relationship situations that shrink you
Let’s face it. We aren’t particularly proud of it, but we all have spent time trying to belittle ourselves, adjust, adapt and be flexible in a relationship. This arise from the fundamental human need to be loved and to conform.
We don’t want to push people away from our lives. When you’re in a toxic relationship, most of the times the toxicity is not from what the person does to you directly, but from the amount of shrinkage you undergo to fit and conform in the relationship. Have you ever thought about that?
You restrict yourself from everything your partner “thinks” you shouldn’t do, until you are no longer yourself.
Take jealousy for example: if your partner is really a jealous freak, if you want him to feel “safe” with you, you need to stop talking to men/women to the point when you no longer socialize. And in the end, it will make you so miserable that even the partner thinks you are.
The situation is lose-lose for both of you.
4. Old lies that you still cling to
People change and you change too.
So your notions about both of those things, others and yourself, should undergo a change.
Just like it is necessary for a caterpillar to harden up and reorganise its body to become a butterfly, so is you letting go of your obsolete beliefs that don’t hold anymore and be free.
5. The idea that you have to be perfectly fine all the time
There are good days and bad days. People can keep their life together at times and sometimes they can’t.
Breakdowns are necessary catharsis and help you see things in better perspective. You will see your mistakes and that will help you work on them better.
It is okay to be alone, to be unhappy, to grieve the loss of a loved one, to be ill; what is not okay, is giving up.
To persevere is the greatest human virtue.
Striving to become a better version of ourselves is all we can do, and the best we can do.