Weddings are magic and matches are made in heaven. Yes.
But. Man is stupid.
You’ll agree once you see the divorce ratio among Americans.
A big party, a satin dress, tuxedos are all fine, but what happens when the novelty wears off; when the marriage part comes in after the wedding bells have stopped ringing?
The only way to ensure a happy nuptial life is communication.
Sharing interests, secrets, anxieties, details and in extension life with your spouse is what makes marriages worthwhile and long-lasting.
To help you out, we have made a list of 18 questions that will surely make things easier for you to figure out:
1. Will you share mutual friends?
Very important and very touchy. Mutual friends and their biases towards you or your spouse could decide who wins an argument and with what consequences.
Besides you don’t want totally solitary and secluded lives outside your home; there has to be a common ground.
2. Where do you want your TV’s in your home?
Sounds kind of strange, but this is important. This will decide if you can stay in bed and watch television or not.
There are many couples who have regular issues with each other regarding this.
Some prefer having a dead-set location away from the bedroom, while others want one there.
3. Familiar with “Health” history?
And by health we don’t just mean physical or sexual health.
One of the most challenging tasks in the world would be being the spouse of someone who is fighting depression for example.
Mental and emotional health is of equal if not greater importance.
4. Are you both Religious?
Again, touchy and very subjective.
It’s not like people who disagree on religion can’t make it work; but it is always wiser to know about each other’s stances beforehand.
5. Do you share similar (spending versus saving) financial system?
You know how finances and money matters can ruin friendships?
And what is a marriage but a longer lasting friendship.
Having similar views on finances and actually distributing them equally is one of the pillars that keeps the marriage running smoothly.
6. What’s your point of view in regards to affection?
Pretty simply, to PDA or not to PDA that is the question.
Ask. And understand if their views don’t match theirs.
7. More Career chasing or family life?
The sentence, “His/her work is more important to him/her than I am” is one that is too common thanks to so many TV serials and films. Let real life not be that way.
Ask before you get hitched. Ask how big of a priority their careers are going to be for them.
8. Will you be willing to relocate in regards to carrer?
Extrapolating from the previous point: what if their careers are huge priorities? Or what if they get an amazing opportunity somewhere else?
Will you be willing to relocate?
Or what if those things happen to you? Will they be willing to relocate?
9. Do you two talk about your lives enough?
Communication can either be a two-way stairway to heaven or a straight one-way highway to hell.
Make sure it’s not the former.
10. Are you both agreeing on your Health related choices?
Important. Very important.
I wouldn’t want to be a passive smoker, for example.
11. What’s your view and opinions on your new family?
When two people marry, like it or not, you adopt a new family each.
It is very important that you two reach middle ground about who you like or don’t.
12. Can they act civil with the ones they don’t like?
This will make future family gatherings bearable if not fine.
The earlier you bring this up the better; otherwise who knows, your own wedding party might get messed up.
13. What are your expectations in regards to cleanliness?
Just live with each other for a considerable amount of time to see if it is really working out.
Arguments about chores and day-to-day activities can get really messy because of the sheer frequency.
14. Are you open to discuss about sexual needs?
Nothing can be sadder than a marriage in which both partners are not sexually satisfied.
Be open about your needs and wants and reach a middle ground.
15. Are there any views or beliefs that you particularly dislike?
There are things your spouses might have hard opinions on.
Things like veganism. You should respect such opinions and learn to adjust to them if you wish to make the marriage work.
16. Parenting plans for the future?
This is one of the big and obvious.
Do you want kids? Do they?
If both of you do, who takes care of the child if both of you have careers etc.
17. Do you fully trust one another?
Trust and supportiveness are the most important things in all long-term relationships.
And having someone who respects you and trusts your decisions in life, it is very rewarding.
18. Are you in it for life, even if some times you feel like there is no way out?
Another obvious one.
Make sure both of you are on the same page. If there is a shadow of a doubt, postpone it if you have to.
Commitment is something that is very subjective and unless you both have the same notions about it, well, it is not worth it.